The Day I Became a Heart Mother

I Am A Heart Mother

One day my world came crashing down, I'll never be the same... They told me that my child was sick.. I thought, am I to blame? I don't think I can handle this...I'm really not that strong.. It seemed my heart was breaking..As, I'd loved him for so long. I will not give up on this child.. despite your best "advice".. I will give my child a chance.. No matter what the price.. And I will learn all that I need.. to help my child to thrive... I'll even use that feeding tube.. My child will survive! And he'll needs lots of therapy? And he just can't gain weight? Alright God I can do this.. I will not curse our fate. The feeding pump beeps,( at 3:00 a.m.) It serves as my reminder.. How many parents would welcome that sound? Tomorrow Lord, I will be kinder.Another angel earns their wings.. and I run to my sleeping child's bed.. I watch him then, for quite awhile.. (I bend down and kiss his head) Then I cry for the parent's whose lives have been broken..And I look to You wondering why? Oh Lord, I just can't know your ways.. No matter how I try. And yet, I trust You hold his life..(and guide us through each day) My mind says savor each moment he's here...But my heart whispers,"Please let him stay". From... pacing the surgical waiting room... to sitting by his hospital bed... From... wishing for a good nights sleep.. to learning every med..From... wondering will he be alright? to watching him reach out his hands.. with every smile, my heart just melts..(despite life's harsh demands) For all who see that faded line.. I look to them and smile.. You see my child is loved so much..I would face any trial... That same scar I trace with my finger.. (It's the door to his beautiful heart) You must have known how much I'd love him.. (Just as You loved him right from the start) A heart mom is always a heart mom.. (wise beyond all of her years) And for those who have angels in heaven.. Our hearts share in all of your tears.. On Mother's Day I will remember.. You chose me for him(and no other) And I will embrace that beautiful day.. When I became a "heart mother".

-Stephanie Husted

Well today is that day! Today marks the one year since Mason was Life Flighted to Primary Children's Medical Center. I am soooo grateful for the advancement in modern medicine and cardiothorasic surgeries in the past decade so our sweet little baby Mason could still be here with us today! We are so thankful for all the staff at Primarys for taking such good care of him and of us during the past year! I wouldn't have wanted to at any other hospital! We are so blessed and instead of today being a downer day it is a day of celebration for an amazing heart warrior!!! WE LOVE YOU MASON!!!! ♥♥♥

This is the pic from my phone of Mason in the ER before he was sent. I can't believe how much fluid he retained over the 3 weeks. It was because he was in full heart failure, but he pulled strong and defeat the very slim odds they gave him. If you saw him today you wouldn't know that anything was wrong with him,(except now in the cold weather his lips are a little bluish) but other than that he looks PERFECT!

♥

Surgery

Mason had a minor surgery on the 7th. He was born with clogged tear ducts and they never opened on their own so they had to put him under to do it. I'm not going to lie I was super nervous about him being intubated and under anesthesia again, but I worried for nothing! They told us the day before to plan on staying overnight because he was a heart kiddo, but he did AMAZING, so they let us go 3 hours after surgery! He also had an echo while he was asleep, right before he was getting discharged I asked his nurse in recovery about his echo and she said she'd go check on it well when she came back she said, the report says the valve is more leaky and there is significant change in the echo....... it made me sick! She said you need to pop into cardiology on your way out and talk with them. So we went straight to cardiology and Mason's doctor wasn't in clinic but was in his office so he told the front desk to put us in a room and he'd look at the results and come talk with me, when I told him what happened he didn't like the way she told me that because all it was, was the mitral valve going from a mild leak to a moderate leak. He upped one of Mason's meds and is hoping that that takes care of it. He is still worried about it and so he wants to see him back in November and then do another sedated echo in December to make sure the leak is back to mild..... I don't know why but I have a really good feeling that upping that med is going to work! So I guess I will just keep going with the power of positive thinking, and faith!

♥

PARTY TIME!!!!

It's Offical..... Mason is ONE!!!!! He had such a good birthday! At first I was sure I was going to do a HUGE party for him because of the last year but when I really thought about it I decided against it and just did immediate family. He is having eye surgery on Friday and Flu season is here so I thought the less people there the less he is exposed to the yucky stuff right before surgery. It worked out great that way because there wasn't much commotion and so he was able to cruise around and be his cute little self without getting overwhelmed! Like I said he is having surgery tomorrow, it is very minor. He has clogged tear ducts so they have to go open them up and they are going to do another echo while he is under. I know it isn't that bad of a surgery but I just hate the fact of anesthesia again and having to be intubated for it(even though it will come out right after) but he is such a strong little guy he will do great!!! ♥

Ready and waiting for the Birthday boy!

I did a heart picture chain of pictures from his first year

Opening presents with Ryder

The first of the cake!

The party kids!

Obviously you can tell he loved his cake!

After cake we he just wanted to play on his 4wheeler

The crash after all of the party excitement! (yes that is cake in his hair!)

♥

The Day Mason was Born.....

Our sweet Baby Mason turned ONE this week! What a blessing he is in our life! I saw a quote today that I loved and it said "We are not lucky, we are blessed" It is so crazy to think when he was born we were just so excited and were expecting a healthy baby and even had a "healthy" baby for a few weeks before everything happened! I am SOOOO grateful for the extra defects that allowed a little blood flow to pass through keeping him alive when we didn't know. We love this little guy so much and can't imagine what life would be like without him. One year is such a GREAT milestone for him! He will just keep beating the odd's one year at a time! Although leading up to his birthday I struggled with emotions thinking a year ago I never would have thought we would be where we are now and gone through what we have gone through. He had a great small birthday party that I will upload those pictures later but I thought I would share the pics from the hospital when he was born. He was born on October 1, 2010 at 4:00 in the morning. He had a rough delivery where they lost the heartbeat at the very end and thankfully he was born right after that and they were able to get him out and crying. He weighed 5lb 14 oz and was 18 inches long. ♥

Right after delivery (yes he was really blue when he was born, then pinked up for a bit)

Sleeping is what he definatly did best!

A proud big brother!

Our first picture as a family of 4

In the car on the way home!